Same Old…

Four of us in a two boat convoy down to the Solent for a week’s eating, drinking, laughing and a bit of sailing too!

That was the high-life plan but as so often before, Global Warming let us down and we sat around in the wind and rain of Eastbourne bemoaning the English weather.

It wasn’t so bad for the three retirees, but one of the group had actually booked a week off work and was damply watching his holiday allowance tick by.
So in a spirit of desperation we booked a day trip on the Newhaven to Dieppe ferry!

Why is it warmer and sunnier just a few miles across the channel?
Some unanticipated consequence of Brexit perhaps?

So here we are in lovely Dieppe… sat in a lovely sunny square, listening to the lovely cathedral bells, drinking lovely French beer out of Guinness glasses and taking turns to cut slices off a very lovely tasty dried sausage.

What an upgrade from the usual rubbish crisps and peanuts that sausage was..
I wondered why we don’t have that in the UK, but then I thought… beer and an unregulated sharp knife… it would only be a matter of time before there was a bloodbath.

Oddly enough – and of course, many years ago – I was in the Boy Scouts and at that time part of the uniform was a large sheath knife attached to one’s belt.
I don’t recall ever attacking anyone – at least I’m pretty sure I was never awarded the Stabber Badge… but then memory does fade with age.
Perhaps you had to stab a certain number of people, or possibly it only counted during Bob-a-Job week!

After much eating and stab-free drinking we headed for the midnight ferry where we were the only foot passengers and had the boat to ourselves, nevertheless we retired to our bunk bed cabin to spend a peaceful night…. apart from Ian falling from the top bunk at 3am… but he only woke us briefly, so that was ok!

It was a bleak 5am return to Newhaven – many hours before my day normally starts and we headed for a half remembered greasy spoon down by the fishing boats, but no luck…
The only option was McDonalds and to the surprise and dismay of two of the party in particular, there were no pay desks and no visible staff – just big screens!
Andy made a brave stab at it, and had managed to select the cup size, the bean’s country of origin, the temperature and percentage of milk, plus whether it came from a plant or a cow… and that he didn’t want fries with it – but finally abandoned his quest at the screen asking if he wanted to make a donation to the rain forest.
He returned to the table mumbling that he just wanted a coffee and that he would never visit a McD again.
Ian did manage to persevere until the very end and was rewarded with cup of brown liquid – but he did appear rather stressed by the whole procedure and halfway through he had actually punched the screen..

Probably just as well he hadn’t brought that knife back from Dieppe.